The Bachelorette Recap: Luke Gives Love a Bad Name

He earned the First Impression Rose on The Bachelorette premire.

But Luke Parker truly made an impression on Week 2 of this ABC francjise.

“Luke has the body of a Greek god,” confessed fellow suitor John Paul Jones with reluctant appreciation on Monday night. “The guy looks amazing.”

We’ve included the visual evidence to go along with this quote above, courtesy of something called “Mr. Right Pageant,” which is what the men were forced to participate in during their group date.

Luke stood out for his abdominal muscles and perfectly-sculpted physique.

But he later stood out for his mouth; more specifically, for one word that came out of it.

But we’ll get to that in a little bit…

Grant, Luke S., Mike, Jed, Jonathan, John Paul Jones, Dylan and Luke P. were the ones selected to strut their stuff on stage, doing so in front of Alyssa Edwards and Alaska, both of RuPaul’s Drag Race fame — and Miss J of America’s Next Top Model.

Each guy rocked a Speedo and had to come up with a talent competition, such as Jed singing and Luke… confessing he’s in love?!?

“Hannah I know that the Mr. Right for you is a man that’s going to love you fiercely,” the early front-runner/villain said in front of everyone, adding:

“I can’t believe I’m saying this right now, this is so crazy because it’s so soon, but I can’t hide it. Hannah, I’m genuinely starting to fall in love with you.”

The men rolled their eyes at this claim, along, we assume, with Internet users who do not trust Luke.

But Hannah fell for it, hook, like, amazing six-pack and sinker. She proclaimed Luke the winner. (But she gave Jed, below, the Group Date Rose.)

Later that evening, Luke doubled down on his profession and again, Hannah seems totally into it.

“I am glad you told me – that’s all I’ve been asking for, is for someone to fight for me,” she said. “I asked for bold and you’re bold.”

“I believe him,” she later added. “It makes me feel excited.”

(Editor’s Note: Hannah, you’ve had many six minutes woth of conversations with this guy. Please slow your roll.)

Anyway, on to the one-on-one date: You’re up, Tyler G.!

After zooming around and slinging mud at each other via a four-wheeler excursion, the two cuddled up to enjoy the views from the top of the Los Angeles hills.

“I’m feeling revved up like my engine,” Hannah said. “I’m a dirty girl.”

Hannah and this Tyler bonded over their shared anxiousness of dating, with the suitor swearing to try his best to be “real” with her.

From there, he didn’t say very much besides repeating how lucky he feels to be with her and constantly emphasizing how “surreal” the entire experience has been.

He earned himself a Rose after asking Hannah about her hopes and dreams.

For the second group date. Devon, Mateo, Darren, Connor J., Kevin, Dustin, Tyler C., Joey, Peter and Garrett met Hannah to go roller skating/roller derby-ing… despite none of them knowing how to stay upright on wheels.

Dustin took a hard fall and earned some shade from Chris Harrison (“He came here for love and he’s leaving with a broken ankle.”), but then also some alone time with Hannah during he cocktail hour that night.

The two even swapped some spit after he explained to her that, although he may be quiet, his heart is still in it to win her over.

Cam, however, ended up being the true star of this cocktail hour.

By which we mean he swooped in and insisted on crashing the date and chatting with Hannah.

“Some guys are going to be upset but I can only be true to me. I always say, ABC – always be Cam,” he actually explained of his actions.

“When I’m sitting here thinking about the inevitability of you creating other bonds and relationships, I’m trying not to get over Hannah-lytical,” he added of why he decided to show up.

After Hannah kicks Cam out and Kevin says he exhibited “poor judgment,” Dustin is given this Group Date Rose.

This sets the stage for the weekly Cocktail Party, as Cam is agitated over his lack of time with The Bachelorette.

At one point, he steps in to invite both Kevin and Hannah to eat some chicken nuggets with him, prompting the former to grow angry and frustrated.

“I think you’re just coming in at a really weird angle with trying to impose your will,” Kevin said to Cam, adding:

“I think what you did with me tonight was honestly ridiculous as well with the whole chicken nuggets thing. I think you can go f-ck yourself, dude.”

Cam repets his ridiculous ABC motto and we move on from his nonsense… and back to Luke P.!

He’s giving Hannah a massage and taking off his shirt and then things get extra awkward when Jed walks in on Hannah and a half-naked Luke P. making out.

“He’s so hot, it’s easy to get caught up in what this is,” Hannah says.

Finally, the rose ceremony comes around and Hannah ends up sending Connor J., Matthew and Daron home.

But the episode isn’t over!

Luke P. sneaks away and walks in on Hannah doing her confessional interviews! The two quickly begin yet another hardcore makeout session!

“I felt like time stopped when I was looking you in the eyes for the first time,” Luke tells the star. “Honestly, everything has just been like magical.”

“Everything I’m telling you is 100 percent real,” he adds. “You can trust me.”

And, for now at least, Hannah completely does.

The Bachelorette Spoilers: Check Out Hannah Brown’s Final THREE! [UPDATED]Start Gallery

Will this continue, though?

Click on the gallery above to scroll through some The Bachelorette spoilers and find out if Luke comes out on top — of both Hannah and the show in general.

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