I was a sex addict – I've been 'sober' more than 10 years but still can't be mates with blokes, I'll flirt with anyone

A WOMAN has revealed she was a self-confessed sex addict and admits that she still can't be friends with men despite being 10 years "sober", as it's too risky because she'll flirt with anyone and everyone.

Brianne Davis admits that she is hooked on that intoxicating feeling you first get when you meet someone and it's led to her cheating on her partners while chasing it.

Speaking on podcast FML Talk, Brianne says the moment she realised she needed help was when she had two men – who both thought they were dating her monogamously – came to blows on her driveway.

"I had two boyfriends for two years. I got caught three times. I was such a good liar I got out of it. I was totally gaslighting them," she admits.

"I would overlap every relationship, I would always have someone in line."

Brianne had been dating one of the guys for a decade, but for the last two years of their relationship she had been secretly dating someone else.

Previously writing a first-person piece for Huffington Post UK, Brianne said she "loved" having multiple partners at once and says it "kept her on her toes".

Spinning lies to keep her relationships a secret, she says, was all part of the "high" she craved as someone who is addicted to sex and love.

Her "ultimate fantasy" was moulding the perfect partner for herself by dating several different men.

"I’d get emotional security from this guy, financial security from the other one, sexual chemistry with that one over there, and good old-fashioned best friend vibes with some other fool… it was like a revolving door of stand-in dudes," she wrote.

For Brianne, who has now written a novel based on her experience titled Secret Life of a Hollywood Love and Sex Addict, her addiction first began when she was around 13 or 14 years old.

"I guess if I was going to go back to a very young age I saw movies which I shouldn’t have seen," she said during her podcast appearance.

"I saw Romeo and Juliet at a very young age and I saw the main actor’s butt, I saw his a***.

"I thought that’s what real love was. Someone has to drink some poison or die for each other. They were only together for two days."

Recalling her teen romances, Brianne said: "In eighth grade I had a boyfriend, he walked towards me and kissed me.

"My entire body was on fire. Since that moment I have been chasing that cheating dirty high. That was beginning of the end."

"That intoxication is what we chase," she said while comparing her addiction to that of a heroin addict – men being her "drug of choice".

Since that moment I have been chasing that cheating dirty high. That was beginning of the end

As she grew older and got into relationships, Brianne admits that once that feeling of falling in love with someone in the early stages of the romance began to wane, she would start to look elsewhere.

Recalling the moment she knew she needed to seek help, Brianne said: "My bottom really hit when I had a live-in boyfriend. What happened was a mentor of mine died.

"I was in location in another city, I was about to act out. I was flirting and I was about to cheat. I was like ‘what am I doing?’”

It was then that she went to therapy and realised she had sex addiction.

Looking back, she began to realise that her relationship were "problematic" as she would always pick partners that she knew she could have "power over".

"There’s nothing sexy or hot about using someone else to get high. I had done it too many times. I was tired. I was burnt out. I was miserable. Enough was enough," she admits.

Brianne undertook an "eight-step therapy" program to overcome her addiction and has now been "sober" for more than 10 years – receiving a "chip" for her efforts over the last decade.

However, Brianne says she still can't be friends with men as she hasn't yet kicked the habit of flirting with everyone she can.

"I can't have guy friends… I can't even talk to waiters," she confesses.

"I would flirt with anyone. I would even flirt with the door."

Now, Brianne – who is married with a baby boy and fully committed to her husband and her therapy program – is hoping to help and inspire others who are going through similar to her by sharing her own experience of sex addiction.

Now in recovery, Brianne says she is "truly happy and healthy" and no longer living in a "fantasy of lust".

She says: "I used to think life without secrets and lies would be boring but I was completely wrong."


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