You can now buy penis-shaped advent calendars to fill with chocolates

With all the commercialism and mince pies flying about, it’s easy to forget the true meaning of Christmas.

Thankfully, one intrepid Ebay seller is here to remind us.

Along with angel wings baubles and personalised gift tags, a brand called Laser Craft Shapes – self-described as ‘the leading supplier’ of everything from Christmas Eve boxes to craft shapes – is selling advent calendar options that every traditional type will want by their tree.

We’re talking, of course, about ye olde penis-shaped advent calendars, that you can fill with Ferrero Rocher chocolates.

That was a thing back in the days of Mary and Joseph, right?

The ‘Willy Christmas Advent Calendar’ is exactly what it sounds like: a laser cut block of wood designed to look like an erect penis and a set of testicles, with numbered holes for your chocolates.

Why would someone want an advent calendar shaped like a penis? That’s not for us to answer. But according to Ebay, 15 were sold in the last 24 hours.

The Willy Christmas Advent Calendar is available in a range of options with adapted slots, such as one for Ferrero Rocher, another for Celebrations, and one for After Eights.

Strangely, some of these designs have a space for one large chocolate orange in the base for Christmas Day. We say ‘strangely’ because surely it would have made sense to go for two large chocolate balls, positioned right in the, well, balls.

All these designs have the option of a jaunty laser-cut ‘Merry Christmas’ at the base, lest you forget why you have a chocolate-loaded penis in your home.

They each cost £11.99 on Ebay – or £7.99 on the Laser Cut Shapes website – but be warned: that price doesn’t include the chocolates, so you’ll need to buy those yourself.

The good news with that, however, is that this is an advent calendar that can be brought out and enjoyed every year – just refill with chocs.

And don’t worry, this site offers equal opportunity advent. Along with all the penis designs, there’s a ‘Ferrero Vagina’, also, confusingly, with space for a chocolate orange somewhere in the top-middle section.

Good tidings all round.

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