All my wife cares about is how much money I make and I don't feel valued

DEAR DEIDRE: HOW much money I make is the only thing my wife cares about.

She does not value me as a husband or dad.


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We have two young daughters and she is always putting me down in front of them.

She calls me a drunk and lazy when they are in the room with us, and they are starting to repeat her insults. I am 34 and she is 32.

The facts are, I work really long hours as a paramedic and never have more than three or four beers on a night out.

She just doesn’t seem to respect me at all.

I used to be very mild-mannered but she is making me miserable.

I’ve started shouting back at her now and there is always an awful atmosphere in the house.

I don’t know what happened to us.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Whether or not her criticisms are fair, it is harmful for parents to criticise and put each other down in front of their children.

Talk to your wife and explain that if she has issues, you want to talk them through calmly as a couple without involving your children.

I’m sending you my support pack Standing Up For Yourself, which will help you have these conversations without the need to raise your voice.

It might also help for you both to read my pack When Parents Fall Out, which explains how this may be affecting your children.

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