Bride insists friend comes to hen instead of spending time with dying relative

When you know someone hasn’t got long left, you want to spend as much time with them as possible – and that might mean cancelling plans.

One woman dealing with a close relative dying from cancer said she wanted to cancel on her friend’s hen party, but the bride wouldn’t consider it.

Posting on Reddit, she explained ‘A close relative of mine is in hospital dying of cancer right now and has been given days to live. He is my family’s only priority right now and we are all devastated, he is suffering awfully and we spend our days in the hospital almost waiting for him to be put out of his misery.

She said that the party would be drinks at a friend’s house, a meal out and then clubbing to keep the costs down.

But when she spoke to the bride, she didn’t get a great reception.

She asked Reddit what they thought she should do. Most agreed that she needed to sit down and spell out exactly how she feels.

One poster said: ‘Please tell her plainly that you are emotionally exhausted and grieving, and that, while you love and support her, you just can’t attend her party. If she is a good friend, she will be disappointed but understanding. If she pitches a fit, then you’ve got a bridezilla. Stand your ground and take care of yourself.’

Another poster shared a similar experience: ‘I went through something similar last week. I told the bride I could not attend for many reasons (my own health, a family member being diagnosed with cancer, finances, r hour drive) and she was everything but supportive. She gave me the silent treatment for hours then proceeded to tell me she’s “tired of excuses”. She gave me an ultimatum pretty much and hasn’t spoken to me since. It’s sad because I’m having a really hard time and I have no support from her.

The poster updated the thread to say she would speak to the bride and explain exactly why she didn’t want to go.

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