Expectant mother says ex's girlfriend treats her like a 'surrogate'

Pregnant woman, 29, reveals her ex-boyfriend’s new partner is treating her like a ‘surrogate’ for her unborn twins and even threw a gender reveal party – WITHOUT inviting her

  • Anonymous woman, 29, from US, fell pregnant with boyfriend Joe before split
  • Said  his new girlfriend Kim has been very ‘overbearing’ throughout pregnancy   
  • Claimed Kim had thrown a gender reveal party for babies without inviting her
  • The woman asked other people if she was being an ‘a**hole’ to be outraged at it

A woman who is expecting a baby with her ex-boyfriend has revealed his new partner is treating her ‘like a surrogate’ – and even threw a gender reveal party for her babies without inviting her.

The anonymous woman, 29, from the US, explained in a lengthy Reddit post that she her ex Joe, 30, had broken up with her to get back together with his former partner Kim, also 30, when she discovered she was pregnant with twins. 

Despite her worries that Joe would not want to be involved, she said he was ‘ecstatic’ about the pregnancy because Kim had fertility issues and he had always wanted to be a father.

However the expectant mother became increasingly frustrated as Kim became more ‘overbearing’, announcing on social media she was expecting twins ‘the non-traditional way’ and even trying to influence where she gave birth. 

An expectant mother has revealed that her ex partner’s new girlfriend is treating her ‘like a surrogate’ and threw a gender reveal party without even inviting her (stock image)

Posting under the username throwaway-twinmama, she said she found out she was pregnant right after she and Joe broke up. 

She explained: ‘Getting back together was out of the question for both of us so he’s still with his girlfriend. Joe was only allowed at the initial appointment because of COVID-19 and we found out I was having twins. 

‘According to Joe when he told Kim she had a mental breakdown about her infertility, and wanted to talk to me.

‘I met them at their house and Kim stated that she wanted to be involved in my pregnancy because she would eventually be the children’s stepmother.’

The anonymous American woman, 29, took to Reddit to say her ex-boyfriend Joe, 30, broke up with her to get back with his ex Kim, when she found out she was pregnant with twins

She continued: ‘She started telling me that I needed to do a home birth, that I needed to formula feed so that they could have the babies half of the week, that she wanted one boy and one girl, and that she wanted the kid to call her Mama since they would be calling me Mommy. 

‘I shut her down and said I would make the best choices for my children and my body and left.’

The woman went on to explain that Kim continued to be ‘overbearing’ and treat her like a ‘surrogate’, even getting annoyed that her job wouldn’t give her maternity leave for the pregnancy. 

She explained: ‘At the virtual genetics counselling appointment, she attended instead of Joe and took over the whole meeting trying to talk about her family history which wasn’t relevant.’

But she said things got even worse for her, revealing: ‘I put a pregnancy announcement on my social media and then she put up an announcement saying they were expecting twins ‘the non-traditional way’ and how blessed she was. I was irritated but I kept my mouth shut. 

‘Then she threw a gender reveal party and posted it on social media. I wasn’t even invited. She also announced that she’s having a baby shower.


Other shocked Reddit users were quick to assure the woman that she wasn’t being an ‘a**hole’, urging her to get a ‘lawyer’ against the ‘lunatic’ ex-girlfriend


The laws of surogacy differ from country to country.

In the US the laws suffer from state to state; some states have written legislation while others have common laws stemming from court decisions.

For example, California is accepting of surrogacy agreements and upholds agreements that include LGBT people.

However, others are stricter, like Michigan, which forbids absolutely all surrogacy agreements, and fines people $500,000 for entering into agreements.

In the UK surrogates are the legal mother of any child they carry, unless they sign a parental order transferring their rights to the intended parents when they give birth.

The birth mother always has the right to keep her child, even if they are not genetically related.

It’s illegal to pay a surrogate in the UK, except for medical expenses. 

‘I commented on her posts and told her to stop treating me like a surrogate, that the kids weren’t hers, and that Joe didn’t have any claim or custody of the kids until they are born. 

‘I then called Joe and reiterated all of this and stated that I would not be seeing either of them until we went to family court and that my mother would be my birthing partner.’

The mother-to-be said that Joe, Kim and their friends have been calling her an ‘a**hole’, with Kim’s mother even insisting that she ‘give’ one of the babies to Kim and Joe. 

Other shocked Reddit users were quick to assure the woman that she wasn’t being an ‘a**hole’, urging her to get a ‘lawyer’ against the ‘lunatic’ ex-girlfriend.

One person slammed the ex-girlfriend’s behaviour as ‘creepy’ while others insisted that she would likely try and ‘steal’ her twins from her after they were born.

Hoards of other people urged the expectant mother to get legal help to stop the situation from ‘escalating’ any further, with some even suggesting a ‘restraining order’.

One person fumed: ‘OP [original poster] needs to sue for full custody, I would NOT leave my kids with this lunatic, she might train them to call her mom. 

‘Also her mom suggested she give them one?! What the actual f**k is wrong with these people?!’

Another commented: ‘God, I can’t even imagine co-parenting with this man. OP is going to have to fight them on every decision regarding the babies for the next 18 years and dealing with Kim probably on the daily.’ 

While a third penned: ‘You need to talk to a family lawyer about how to protect yourself against Joe and Kim trying to gain custody out from under you asap, and Kim needs to see a therapist because she really is treating you like a surrogate and it’s incredibly creepy. 

‘Joe not telling her to stay in her lane is also a serious problem.’

The pregnant woman later clarified that she plans to get a lawyer ‘as soon as possible’ because the hoards of comments had ‘scared the s**t’ out of her.

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