I am planning to cheat on my unfaithful husband on holiday with my secret lover | The Sun

DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband is trying everything to make up for his sordid fling and even encouraged me to book our big holiday next year wherever I like.

So I’ve decided to rebook the same all-inclusive in Cyprus — then I can hook up again with my secret lover.

My husband has paid for the entire trip as a way of putting things right between us.

He cheated on me 18 months ago with a gym instructor and I’ll admit, when I got together with a holiday rep last ­summer, revenge was at the forefront of my mind.

I’m 38, my husband is 39 and the holiday rep is 41.

I was only looking for a ­holiday fling but we still message secretly every day.

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We would slip off whenever there was a big dance or show, or when my husband went back to our room for a nap.

We’d have sex in the rep’s office or an empty room. It was so exciting creeping around.

I still find myself daydreaming about him all the time, to the point that my husband keeps asking if I’m all right as I’m so distracted most of the time.

I’m very excited to be seeing my lover again in April and we’re already planning how we can sneak away again.

But I’m not sure if we can ever be together properly as my lover is also married.

I fantasise about being with him, even on the few occasions my husband and I are intimate.

I thought I’d forgiven my ­husband but part of me still wants him to pay, even though he is really trying with me.

In my sensible moments I realise I need to stop this obsession but I can’t. What should I do?

DEIDRE SAYS: Two wrongs don’t make a right and this fling is doomed to failure given the distance and the fact you are both married.

Fresh from the hurtful revelation that your husband strayed, you took your revenge.

But this fling is a side show and it’s time to concentrate on the main bill – your marriage.

Your husband is putting all his efforts into making amends and it’s time you did the same, or called time on your marriage.

It is really hard to rebuild trust after one of you has cheated but it is still possible.

So the time has come to stop hiding from this difficult decision: are you going to put all your efforts into rebuilding or are you ready to walk away?

I’d recommend you go to relationship counselling, either together or alone to help you work towards your next steps.

Tavistock Relationships provide quality counselling at a reasonable cost (tavistockrelationships.org, 020 7380 1975).

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