I wanted a girl and I was upset when I found out I was having twin boys – but gender disappointment is nothing to be ashamed of
- Ashley Cesare, 21, was disappointed to find out that she was having twin boys
- The stay-at-home-mom, from New York, had her heart set on having a girl
- READ MORE: Pregnant mum sparks backlash with gender reveal reaction
A woman has revealed that she was ‘upset and disappointed’ when she found out she was having twin boys after having her heart set on one of each.
Ashely Cesare, 21, had always dreamed of having a little girl and was hoping for a boy and girl when she found out she was expecting twins in August 2021.
The stay-at-home-mother, from New York, couldn’t hide her disappointment when only blue confetti fell on her and her fiancé, Heath Boyle, 27, who works in construction, during their gender reveal.
Ashley was ‘scared’ about raising boys but quickly got over her fear and now admits she couldn’t imagine her 10-month-old twins, Carter and Jaxon, as girls.
Ashley Cesare with her twin sons Carter and Jaxon. Ashley revealed that she was initially disappointed to find out she was having boys
She said: ‘In the moment I was anxious, and the suspense was killing me.
‘In my gut I knew it was twin boys, so I was trying to prepare myself and willing myself not to cry.
‘When the confetti fell, I stamped my foot in disappointment. But the feeling only lasted for five or 10 minutes.’
However, she quickly got over the disappointment and thought ‘here we go’.
Ashley and her fiancé, Heath Boyle, 27 at their gender reveal, where Ashley was initially upset as she had wanted one of each – one girl and one boy
The stay-at-home-mom says that she wouldn’t be without her boys now and was only disappointed for five minutes
She said: ‘I used to feel guilty because I didn’t want my boys to feel unwanted. But now I realise that wasn’t that moment was.
‘It was my natural emotions. Now I couldn’t imagine them being girls. I love my boys more than anything and me wanting a girl isn’t wrong.’
When Ashley found out she was pregnant with twins in August 2021, she had set her hopes on one or both being a girl.
As a ‘girly girl’ Ashley wanted a ‘mini me’ and so when she and Heath found out they were having twin boys at their gender reveal in October 2021, she was shocked and unprepared.
When Ashley found out she was pregnant with twins in August 2021, she had set her hopes on one or both being a girl
Ashley said that she wants to normalise that gender disappoint is a very real thing and has nothing to do with how much you will love your baby
The 21-year-old said: ‘Heath didn’t care either way. But it was really scary for me.’
‘I have all girls on my side of the family. I didn’t think I would be good at raising boys.
‘But after five minutes or so I snapped out of it, and I was excited. I was just happy to be a mom.
‘It was a disappointment like you have when you get the fast-food restaurant gets your order wrong, but you still eat it.
Ashley said that she feels guilty as she doesn’t want her two sons to feel as though they were unwanted
‘We should be able to have emotions.’
Ashley fell in love with her boys when they were born at St. Peter’s Hospital, Albany, New York, on March 25, 2022 – Jaxon weighing 4lbs 11oz and Carter 4lbs 8oz.
She said: ‘It felt like they were meant to be mine. They are both very attached to me.
‘They said “mumma” first.
‘Jaxon is clingy, and Carter is more independent but still has his moments when all he wants is me.’
Ashley fell in love with her boys when they were born at St. Peter’s Hospital, Albany, New York, on March 25, 2022 – Jaxon weighing 4lbs 11oz and Carter 4lbs 8oz
Ashley and Heath want to complete their family with a third child, who they hope will be a girl.
Ashley said: ‘If we have another boy, I might be disappointed. But I’ll still be happy, and we’ll still stop at three.’
Ashley was worried about feeling ‘judged’ for her emotions surrounding her gender disappointment, but plans to show them the video of her reaction when they are old enough.
Ashley said: ‘They’ll see that I was disappointed but know I love them more than anything.
‘I’m assuming they’ll laugh about it. I want them to understand feelings are normal.’
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