DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife has agreed I should be her sister’s sperm donor so she can have the baby she longs for, but she has no idea that I am in love with her sister and have been for years.
I am 45. My wife is 41. We have two boys. My wife got pregnant both times right away, without any problems.
We have been careful to use contraception since then, as we feel our family is complete.
My sister-in-law is 37. I told her a while back how I feel about her. She said she was flattered but would never hurt her sister.
Now my wife has come up with this plan for me fathering a child with her sister, I worry where it would all lead.
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DEIDRE SAYS: You are right to worry.
There are all sorts of drawbacks to being a sperm donor without proper checks, let alone all the tangled feelings you would inevitably have here.
Be firm that this is not a sensible way for your sister-in-law to find a father for a child.
Suggest she check out the information available on sperm donation, through the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority (hfea.gov.uk). Meanwhile, focus on strength-ening your marriage.
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