DEAR DEIDRE: MY boyfriend and I love one another and are trying to work things out, but he has been sexting me and coming out with strange fantasies. It’s like I don’t know him at all.
He says he likes dressing as a woman and wearing sexy female underwear. He wants to have sex with me pretending I am the man and he is the woman.
I am so shocked. In eight years together he has never said any of this before. I am 35 and he is 36.
He admitted he was worried how I might react. It feels as though I have lost the man I love because he is a different person.
UP to half of women lose interest in sex.
Often it is due to issues in their relationship or their past. Partners can struggle to know how to help. My e-leaflet How To Light Her Fire can help. Email me at the address below or private message me on Facebook.
DEIDRE SAYS: Your boyfriend has been bottling up secret fantasies which he is no longer able to hide and which he has clearly feared sharing with you.
You are shocked, but he is still the same man you’ve loved all these years.
You shouldn’t feel forced to go along with anything sexually that makes you feel uncomfortable, but it’s worth getting help to see if you can find a happy middle way. Find a therapist through the College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (cosrt.org.uk, 020 8543 2707).
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