DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner is wonderful when she is sober, but when she drinks she is an embarrassing mess.
I’m 37 and she is 35. We’ve been together four years and she is loving and supportive.
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But over the past couple of years, her drinking has become an issue.
She simply can’t hold her alcohol – just a couple of glasses of wine and she starts to slur and say embarrassing things.
Strangers in the pub laugh at her, but it’s not funny.
Even when she starts to lose control, she’ll keep on drinking. Then she gets really loud, or tearful and depressed, and even threatens to harm herself.
At a party recently, she took her friend’s phone and rang this woman’s ex to tell him to apologise, making an awkward situation far worse.
On weekends, she has started drinking a bottle of wine or two on her own.
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If we go anywhere socially, I feel more like her minder than her partner. I can’t drink, because I know I’ll have to drive her home.
I’m fed up with having to apologise for her. She won’t admit she has a problem.
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DEIDRE SAYS: She is certainly a problem drinker.
She drinks to excess and loses control. It sounds like she is trying to mask a deep insecurity or unhappiness with alcohol.
You can’t make her stop drinking – only she can do that. But you can get help for yourself and make it clear to her that you feel she has a problem, and you’re worried about her.
My support pack Dealing With A Problem Drinker will tell you how to get support.
Site wearewithyou.org.uk gives emotional support to those with drug or alcohol issues, and their loved ones.
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