My flatmate only dates married men – and I’m struggling to respect her for that.
She claims that single guys are too much like hard work. She likes older players who are naughty, rich and grateful.
Her attention span is phenomenally short. I just get used to one geek hanging around our place and he’s dumped and replaced by another.
She rotates admirers like a pro, often juggling two or three eager beavers at a time. It’s stressful. I live in fear of saying the wrong thing or mixing their names up.
In the six months I’ve lived here, I’ve had guys show me pictures of their children and their wife’s new boob job.
I’ve sat and listened as they’ve cried about how much they love my flatmate and how complicated their lives are. Yawn. They all fall in love with her, but she treats them like dirt.
At the moment she’s sleeping with a chief executive who is the biggest hypocrite I’ve met in my life. He pretends to be upright and “holier-than-thou” in public but is an absolute sleazeball in private.
I hear them having noisy sex when I’m trying to get to sleep and it’s not nice. She tells me that he’s into bondage and spanking. Apparently, she’s not the only woman he sleeps with behind his wife’s back – he goes to a professional dominatrix for the really hardcore stuff.
Yet when I meet him (and all the others) in the communal kitchen I’m expected to smile and be polite and pretend that everything in the world is rosy.
I’m no goody-goody, but I’m growing tired of this game.
She has no shame, and I don’t think that’s right, do you?
JANE SAYS: I have to conclude that you are probably in the wrong flat with the wrong vibe. You may not approve of your flatmate’s dating choices, but surely, she’s allowed to have guests?
As long as she’s not breaking the law or intruding on your space, then she’s free to do what she likes.
Clearly, she likes a certain type of guy. Is that going to change in the foreseeable
future? I don’t think so.
She’s made it clear that she likes to be free to pick and choose her admirers.
I presume her married guys give her the great sex, attention and generous experiences she expects. You may not approve, but it’s her life. Do you need to speak to her and ask her to accept more stringent house rules?
Could you suggest that she doesn’t bring her conquests in the communal areas because you often find yourself embarrassed and compromised?
Ultimately, if you don’t like this situation – if you find her too annoying and noisy – then do you need to think about moving on?
If nothing else, this is a lesson in life and might be something to laugh about in years to come – or not.
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